Okay, I was sitting in church today, and I had an epiphony...let me give you a little background...3 months ago I lost my job...a job I really, really loved, and was good at, and I lost it for some really insane political drama...so needless to say, I have had a really hard time, and I haven't had even a nibble in my job search attempts...so I am sitting in church, listening to the priest preach his sermon, and it's like God just whacked me upside the head...here I am putting question marks where He has put a period...here I am, struggling, asking why, when I just got my answer. I defined myself by that job. I let the job become my self-worth...not the fact that I am a wife and mother (and good one too) not the fact that I am a child of God, not that I am so full of worth, that my father gave his only son for me...My house is not in order. Not my physical house...(but oh man does that need attention) but my spiritual house...I felt God speak to me tonight, tell me that before I "run" back into worldly endeavors, I need to clean house. I heard him tell me to leave my worries at the feet of his son, I clearly understood, that until this "transformation" takes place, he is helping to keep my mind free of all outside thoughts and missions except the ones that he has already given me to take care of...does this make sense to anyone...I know I am just spewing all of this out...I will still keep looking for a job, but it will be AFTER my time with him each day, AFTER I make sure my house is in order, not before or instead of. I can't tell you how emotional this post even is for me, i can barely type because of the tears streaming down my face, my God is such a wonderful God, and I know that if He takes care of the birds of the sky, how much more will he take care of me, his beautiful daughter.
God bless you, in HIS name.
Christie
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